Revealed! The secrets that Intel doesn't want you to know!

Afrotech's Ultimate Open-Source Hardware Platform

The open source movement is a powerful force driving technology today. Open source projects have experienced explosive growth - from the humble beginnings of a 2.7% market share in 1997 to a dominating 2.9% in 2007. Open source practices promote access to the design and production of goods and knowledge. The cold hard fact is that if you do not embrace open source, you are a book burning nazi.

The problem
All over the world IT personnel are facing real world closed source hardware issues.
Example 1: IT manager finds out that Word 2007 will not run on the company's Colecovision. He does not have the schematic of the Colecovision so he can't fix the problem. So what does he do? The CEO shoots him and his kids turn to selling drugs and prostitution to survive.
Example 2: Irate person in accounting to technical architect: why do I have to pay $500000 for that server when my ipod costs $300? The architect's brain experiences a logic implosion resulting instant death. The company's TPS reports don't get generated on time and the corporate headquarters goes up in flames and the kids turn to selling drugs and prostitution to survive.

The solution

Afrotech is proud to present to you an extensible open source hardware development framework that offers UNLIMITED development possibilities:

These are the basic building blocks of all computing hardware known to man. With this platform, there is nothing stopping you from developing a 60000Ghz processor - the only limitation is yourself!

Benefits of the Afrotech Open Source Hardware Platform

Cost - Everything in Afrotech's open source hardware development platform can be acquired for FREE. There is no purchase cost associated with Afrotech's open source hardware platform. However, newbie hardware developers may wish to purchase the retail packaged version, named "Afro hat" for a mere $19,999. It comes with a set of printed encyclopedias detailing how you can easily take the FREE raw silicon and develop new hardware designs in the upcoming decades of development. Technical support is also available for a small fee, typically $5000/year. 15 year minimum contract. 30 years training in VHDL and sub-nanometer manufacturing recommended for optimum results.

Customization - This open source hardware platform is extensible at the gate level to be whatever architecture you want it to be. RISC? CISC? DVDA? The choice is YOURS.

Security - True open source hardware is bulletproof. Hackers routinely take over bank computers, military satellites and the PCs of 14 year old girls posting on myspace blogs. Why is this happening? Because their hardware is closed source! If a computer is closed source how can you possibly know how to secure it? This proves open source hardware is secure.

Reliability, support and accountability - Microsoft routinely buys child labor from Thailand and forces little boys to be sodomized in Mosques. And by that, I mean they no longer support Windows 98. So what are you going to do when the support runs out?! You are fucked by the closed source capitalist bastards in Redmond. Similarly with closed source CPUs, you're killing nepalese children who have to eat goat shit to survive. With open source hardware you have a giant international support community of 8 fellow developers, all of whom cannot WAIT to give you snide RTFM retorts when you ask for help. Plus, the probability of ALL of them losing interest in the project during your lifetime is pretty low right?

Potential results

Resistor - Can you imagine the benefits to humanity if you could develop an open source resistor? Currently, giant monopolistic evil corporations gouge you up to $0.01 PER RESISTOR. For a few measly years in development time and a few million dollars in setting up a manufacturing plant you could produce resistors for FREE! I will leave it to your imagination as to how this will end the genocide in Darfur, but trust me it will.

Pentiums - If you have the motivation and drive, you could even design a processor as powerful as a PENTIUM! An open source world with a processor as powerful as a PENTIUM could pave the path for future inventions like machines that can make bread hard.

Benchmarks and comparisons
A side by side comparison of "open source" hardware platforms compared to Afrotech's solution

Arduino - This popular hardware platform is NOT open source!! The processor is based on closed source microcontroller made by Atmel. Answer me this: How many NAND gates are in an Arduino? Hm? HMMM? You don't know. And if you don't know what is inside your hardware, it could be used to spy on your family and take away your civil rights. So which is it going to be you neo-hitler loving freedom hating piece of shit? Open source microcontrollers or ones designed by Alberto Gonzales?

The Balloon Project - This supposedly open source hardware development tool is nothing but a corporate shill. It features closed architectures like "USB" and "Real time clock", BOTH of which are supported by Micro$oft Winbl0ws, robbing young minds of their educational opportunities. They claim that this board is intended for use in "educational settings" but using such closed source hardware in education is like teaching children to put plastic bags on each other's heads so you can rape them without them screaming.

Afrotech open source hardware development platform - Endorsed by Arnold Schwarzenegger and proven to make your penis longer and thicker by 36% in just 4 weeks.
Openmark 2007: Open like a porn star's asshole
Genocides stopped: 7
Aggregate IQ increase of humanity: +7 points
(Do not listen to research that suggests that you are better off buying a Dell laptop and using it to research college papers. This is corporate propaganda being fed to you by the Bush administration)

Bibliography
Richard Stallman
Slashdot
Linus Torvalds
Transmeta

Alternatively you could just spend 10 bucks buying an old computer at a garage sale