There are many qualities that make a man a great leader. As this histogram shows, Arnold beats Bush in all of them.
| Bush | Arnold | |
| Terrorists defeated: | Since 2001, under Bush's leadership, many of Al Qaeda's sheep farms got damaged. | In the span of two hours, Arnold went horse riding, nuked all of the Crimson Jihad, and saved his marriage. |
| Honesty: | Lied about reasons for going into war. | Failed to keep his promise to kill Sully last. |
| Health: | Can kill himself with a pretzel. | Can destroy a pretzel making factory with his eyebrows. |
| Sex appeal: | Approximately equal to that of a pretzel. | Has fucked more vimen than the Fonz. |
| Education: | Was attending an elementary school when he found out about the WTC attacks. | Has three doctorates and taught at an elementary school. |
| Initiative: | Cheated to become president. | Saved John Connor and all of humanity, then became governor in the same year. |
| Teamwork skills: | Commands a multi million man army. | Can kill everyone on his own just fine. |
| Religion: | Worships Jesus. | Is the son of Zeus. |
| Eloquence: | "We ended the rule of one of history's worst tyrants, and in so doing, we not only freed the American people, we made our own people more secure." | One liners after every kill. |
| Negotiation skills: | Got Tony Blair to suck his dick. | N/A (his dick is too big). |
| Courage: | Launched a war on terror. | First Austrian to try learning English. |