Arnold: A new hope
In the year 2005, mankind will face times of great suffering and oppression. After Bush wins the 2004 election, he will sign the PATRIOT II act, the PATRIOT III act, and the YOUHATEAMERICAIFYOUDONTAPPROVETHIS act, making it a federal offense to think about anything but fellating Jesus. 120 million Americans will die in Iraq under his leadership, despite not even being in military service, or Iraq. The class structure will split into two halves - those who work for Lockheed Martin, and those who eat their toenails to survive. There is only one way you can prevent this atrocity from happening.

VOTE ARNOLD IN 2006!!!!

Arnold will solve ALL the world's problems and more!

The government spends approximately 7.2 trillion dollars a year on the military. With Arnold as president, all of that money will get redirected to spending on education and health care because Arnold can deal with any foreign threat ON HIS OWN(1). With all that money spent on education American kids would become the smartest people in the world- even smarter than Asian kids!! 9 year olds would be inventing flying cars and shit and we would be able to export them to Japan in exchange for one billion DDR arcade machines which would solve America's obesity problem! Holy shit with a whole country pumped up on DDR what would you even need health care for? All the money would just go to research and in about two weeks after the election Arnold would have cured cancer and AIDS.

In Arnold America, government pays YOU!

Whenever there is trouble in a far off land, Arnold will be there, killing terrorists with phallic machineguns and snapping the necks of dictators we don't like. A camera crew will always follow him around to document all the best action scenes he does, and then release them in theatres! Typical Arnold movies generate 500+ Million$ in revenue(2), but using regression analysis on the popularity trends of reality TV my data indicates that Arnold's upcoming war movies will gross over 100 BILLION dollars worldwide at the box office EACH. That's so much money the government won't even know what to do with it. They will be like wtf get this pile of cash off of my desk im trying to bang an intern here and they will just give all the money away to the rest of the country. It's like negative taxation! For all you hippies out there, Arnold never kills innocent people, so civilian deaths will be ZERO so you can't protest shit. Arnold makes war fun!!

But Arnold isn't American! He can't be president!

STFU you moron. If Thomas Jefferson was alive today, he would vote for Arnold in a second. Abe Lincoln told me so himself. If 250 million people vote ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER no stupid law would be able to keep him out of office. Despite what Stallone may tell you, ARNOLD IS THE LAW(3).

Enough fahking around. Here is what Arnold will do for YOU

Bonus wallpaper!!

Bibliography
(1) Commando
(2) Terminator 2
(3) I'm pretty sure it was in True Lies somewhere